Terrified
by SAmething
Summary: Chihiro kept wondering why, after 5 years, all those memories came back. After a week of careful thinking and self debates, she finally decided on returning. But it wasn't what she thought would be a warm welcome and a "We missed you so much Sen" scenario; instead, everyone had no idea who she is and everyone was grossed at her human stench.


**Chapter 1: Decision of the Mentally Unstable  
**

Disclaimer: This has been a tradition so, yeah, Spirited cannot be mine unless I buy it which is imposiburu.

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It's Friday. Usually I was happy when I knew I've got nothing to do but snuggle on our sofa and watch my favourite show in the television. That's the happiness of people with dull life, right? I hate to admit that in the span of 15 years, nothing exciting really happened in my life. Maybe the most turning point (not exactly exciting) is when we moved here. Then after that, nothing. Sure I've made some friends, hung out with them at times, but I really prefer staying at home so I guess that was the top reason I don't have a thrilling life unlike those I watch from the TV dramas.

So I decided on running away.

Wait, let me rephrase that. The term 'running away' just gives a sour taste to my mouth so I decided I would never ever use it again. What I'm about to do is more of "finding my adventure" or "unravelling my what-ifs" or whatever phrase I could sugar-coat it. My decision to follow my fate had all started with a _dream_.

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I already mentioned I have a dull life. One night, which was exactly a week before, I had a very odd dream. What was weird is that, I was also sleeping in that dream but I was lying on a soft green grass on a sunny day. While I was sleeping, images started to fill my mind. First was that some mysterious white faced guy with black clothes was chasing me and I was running away from him. Then the next dream on my dream was that I was falling in a deep hole and I was clinging on to some sort of huge snake. There, I willed myself to wake up. I woke up, but I woke up from my dream in my dream. I stood up, only to find the soft green grass below me was already replaced with water and was threatening to drown me if I didn't go away fast enough. The sky went dark and I ran fast; my heart keeping up with the racing of my legs. When I reached the stairs, I saw a boy face to face. Instantly I was frozen, paralyzed, and couldn't even move my eyes. I was just staring at him and he stared back. He was unmoving, too. Then everything came back to me.

That was when I finally woke up. My heart was still tired from the running I did in my dream. I remember everything; every single detail of the places and every face I saw in _that_ world. For a moment I considered everything as just a dream; and that I was also still in a dream, but then I knew they were not just a dream. They were true; and they happened five years ago.

I also considered sleeping again for I must be hallucinating that night because of too much watching dramas. But no, I couldn't go back to sleep. Every time I tried to close my eyes, I would just see darkness and wait patiently for my eyes to fall asleep; which never happened. So, I gave up and try to decipher my dream.

They're not dreams, they happened. Somehow I had forced this thought inside my mind. But if they really did happen, how come I forgot about them?

That is another mystery. How could I forgot my only weird and thrilling event in life? And why now? Why did I remember everything just now?

My dream was the only occupant in my mind that night. I tried to rewind every single thing that happened in my stay there at the spirit world but actually, there's only one image that kept appearing everytime. Haku, Haku, Haku. The river god who helped me escape. The river god who saved me and my parents' life. The river god whom I wanted to see again. But is it possible?

Not only the memories that had returned; also the nostalgic feeling. It was the same as what I felt when I just went outside the red brick tower and looked back at the tunnel. It was the mixed feeling of concern and loneliness. I had never thanked him enough for what he did for us. If only I could turn back time, I would save a few minutes to hug him and thank him for everything. But I was too young that time to realize that what he had done for me was worth more than a simple "We would see each other again, right?"

About that promise, I don't think he fulfilled it. I don't even think he remembered. Maybe he had no choice but to agree with me because anyway, that girl (me) was just about to leave and might as well go with her wish or else she would cry. But deep inside me there was hope.

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That morning, my mother noticed I was fatigued. She thought that I was up all night, texting. After a sermon on how I should not do that again, she went back to the kitchen. Heck, if only what she said was true. Really, I could stay up all night if somebody even bothered to text me and be also up all night just for me. I wonder how that would feel.

The weekend had passed with me alternating myself in the living room and in the kitchen. I was such a couch potato. My whole weekend was consumed thinking about the Spirit World and the thought of going back there. And if I go back, could I even return? There's a lot to lose here in our world. My family, friends, math homework, my life…

If I go back I would have to face weird looking creatures every day and bathe them (unless Yubaba would decide otherwise and let me as a guest in the bathhouse since I was quite popular there). I would sleep in semi-comfortable mats that only have strictly one pillow per person and I would definitely miss my 101 percent soft and comfy bed that smells like vanilla. I would miss the technology, the music, and the art of this world. I would also miss the pretty boys at school I used to fantasize about.

Well, all the pretty boys at school equal one Haku. Wait, what?

And, I would no longer be living above a hill; instead, above the sea that has a magnificent view of the train track at day and starry sky at night. There would be magic everywhere: powers, sorcery, witchcraft, everything that the world of mine doesn't have. I was quite popular there; unlike here where I would be out of their options whenever our teacher orders us to group ourselves in class.

Maybe I was just delusional when I thought about it: I would be going back, definitely.

Maybe it was curiosity that had lead me to that decision; or maybe it was really something else. I was just curious about what would happen with my life if I return. Maybe that was the adventure I was looking for! Maybe this is what they say as yolo where I only got to live once so get the best out of it. Apparently I wasn't living my life fully in this world. Maybe that _world is_ my world.

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So this Friday, I don't really know how to say good bye to my parents. What will happen to them if I leave? Will they break down because their daughter is gone? I love my parents. I really do. That's why when I decided I would go back to the spirit world and leave them, I had officially declared myself as a mentally unstable person. Who would leave their parents in pursuit of what she believed her destiny in which there is a chance that the whole destiny thing might not be true?

Wishing I can't say my farewell to my parents yet, I leave the house. I go to Kara's house. She's my best friend for four years now, and I really like her. In fact, she's the sibling I've been wanting my whole life. Too bad she's already taken by her family. Like me, she is a solid couch potato and maybe that's the reason we get along too well.

I bought her a bouquet. She is very surprised and according to her, this is un-Chihiro like. I don't want to tell her this is a goodbye present. After all, this could be our last meeting and I don't want it to be very sad and teary. Heck, even if I tell her this is a goodbye present, there's no way she will believe me. After letting me in, we go straight to her bedroom.

"I'll just get some snack. Chips or cookies?" she asks.

I debate over myself. Cookies can be a nice goodbye food. Very sweet, like our friendship. "Cookies."

After she leaves, I look around. Surely I'll miss Kara's place. We used to hang here during our free times and whenever we felt the need to study together. When I was younger, we did sleepover a lot; especially on the infant stages of our friendship. I walk over to her clear cabinet full of toys. These are the toys we used to play if we were bored. If there's a difference between us, I'm much much duller than her. Well at least her room is brightly colored, unlike mine that is the colour of unwashed white curtain. And not to mention she has a lot of toys in this huge cabinet.

Something is familiar on these toys. I grab the soft, string-haired doll that is sitting limply between two toy instruments. I remove its purple necklace and gently put back the doll to its original place. _My hairtie_. The one Zeniba gave me. Maybe some time when I was younger when Kara and I were playing, I had put this hair tie on that doll's neck! This is a sign. This is probably that sign I was waiting for to continue my return. A sign that I should carry on my plan of coming back to that world.

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A/N

Chihiro is not really mentally unstable here. She is perfectly normal. Just in case you would believe the title.


End file.
